Ten pick up lines you should not even try!

On a lighter note 😀

It’s a Friday evening. You’re hanging out with your friends. It’s a crowded bar and you’re heading back to your table after having been nestled, rather unwillingly, in the armpits of those who are taller than you (in my case, that makes it everyone) after placing your drink order. You’re stepping back to take a breather and counting the seconds till the LIIT could be yours to nurse, when this dude says, “Hey, you should have been a basketball player, it would have helped you today!”. You look up, hoping that the look on your face is not mistaken for that of polite indifference, when this dude goes for a strike two, “You’re so short, that’s why I said so. But I bet they call you S&S? Short and sweet?”. You turn away with a huff, not wanting to spend energy to react, but you pause to tell him, “That just did not work, buddy. And I could take you down in a one-on-one anytime. Bet you dribble very well!” and you walk away.

Wait, that would apply if you played basketball too for your school despite being 5 foot tall. That was your classic example for “backhanded compliment that’s really an insult.” A detailed incident to illustrate what I intend to keep as a short sweet (not that word again!) post about the pickup lines you just shouldn’t try. I don’t know if you are one of those guys who reverently follow Barney Stinson from the sitcom “How I Met Your Mother”, but I would like really sit down with you and talk about your success rates, because all my gal pals out there state that they just.don’t.work. Lest they are on the lookout for punching bags, because in that case, you’ll totally be “hit” on!

Here’s a list of pick up lines, which you need to avoid, in ANY order!

10. “Was it love at first sight, or should I walk by again”
Don’t blame the failure of this one on the poor lighting of the place where you’re trying to pick up a chick at. It sounds pretentious and a lot like you are full of yourself. Confidence is always a turn on, but too much of it, is just not appealing.

09. “Is it hot in here, or is it just you?”
Ask this to a hard core Bangalorean girl, and she’s going to start reminiscing about days with better weather. Besides, this is just so clichéd that it needs to be buried.

08. “If I said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me”.
Because there’s nothing more that we enjoy than being objectified. Also, you sound rather sleazy.

07. “Is it Diwali? Because I see a lot of sparks flying between us”
Wait a second, this isn’t that lame, but it sounds so corny, doesn’t it? Dang, I ruined your chances of actually using this one someone, because they know it wouldn’t be original anymore. Credit: YouTube, Channel name: ||Superwoman||

06. “You must be really tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all day”
Now this is just illogical, you’ve just met me, how can you state all day? Try tweaking that to, “You must be really tired, you just sprinted through my mind”, but that might be a dig at my fitness levels, so don’t do it.

05. “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”
This is urgh-so-corny. Or if you followed that with, “I have a little Volini for that”. No. It still wouldn’t work.

04. “Am I cute enough yet? Or do you need more to drink?”

No. Not this one. Nothing more offending that someone counting on alcohol for a person to make a bad judgment. Scratch that, it’s just offending!

03. “Is there a magnet in here baby, because I am attracted to you”
Cheesy, lame, and nerdy in a bad way. And yes, there is a nerdy in a good way, but that’ll make a post for another day.

02. “Hey baby doll, wanna come on a ride with me?”

No. You simply cannot use this one. It’s so lame that it hurts. It hurts me that your brain cells operated to produce that one. Have you seen the traffic out there?

01. “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together”
This is over used! And with really limited success, my friend. Stray away from this one, no English Pundit is going to take your suggestion seriously, and sadly, neither is that girl you’re using it on.

It does take a lot of bravado to walk up to someone and use any kind of line on them; good on you for that. But more often than not, merely saying hi, should get the ball rolling. Are there any pick up lines that have worked really well for you? Have you ever used a Barney Stinson line and actually gotten somewhere with it? And girls, ‘fess up, is there any line that had any degree of success and didn’t result in you walking off in a huff? Comment away!